Re: Floaters - Was: SJ magic (items) - you might not want to read if you are about to eat

I think that work of this nature should not be poo-poo'ed, it is quite
"the sh*t," as far as satire goes. Rather than flushing it outright I
think it should become a new thread and end up on the humor section of
BTW (Big Toilet, White in this case...)

Besides, think of the new Power and his followers: The Porcelin God,
worshipped by Sh*theads throughout the spheres!

Just thought I'd float the idea
Loki

On 3/31/06, David Shepheard <david_shepheard@???????.com> wrote:
> I can't believe we are *actually* talking about turds in space!
>
> Ask a silly question: here is a silly answer!
>
> ;-)
>
> <tone lowering mode engaged>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Dreamer" <dreamer@??????.?????.??.uk>
> Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 12:01 PM
> Subject: Re: [SPELLJAMMER] SJ magic (items) - was: Locate Portal conversion
>
>
> >> > Maybe a Sewage-to-Rock spell might be useful, so a ship doesn't
> >> > waste any material?
> >>
> >> And why do you want to retain mass? You don't need ballast. On a small
> >> basis, you might be able to grow plants in treated sewage, purified with
> >> some sort of spell ("Deck Tomatoes" perhaps).
> > [snip]
> >
> > Retaining mass means that you are doing (permanent)
> > Transmutation, not Creation - if you are breathing the air you
> > don't want temporary Transmutation where the magic is just faking
> > up extra volume/mass for the spell duration.
>
> Lets nit-pick and see what happens:
>
> 1) Someone throws a turd overboard (it possibly retains a small air
> envelope),
> 2) The volumn of the ship's air envelope gets smaller by the size of the
> turn + any air a turd takes with it.,
> 3) The ship skims the atmophere of a planet and regains the lost air,
> 4) The planets atmosphere drops in size,
> 5) After thousands of years as a floater the turd falls into the gravity of
> a planet (slightly expanding its atmosphere).
>
> The circle is then complete. Eventually things balance out as all planets
> have their shot of....erm...sewerage meteors.
>
> > Some DMs are a bit strict about conservation of mass - if you
> > want to change the mass you fetch it from somewere or dump it
> > elsewhere, for air the Elemental Plane of Air is obviously
> > popular. Magic is looked on as energy - yes you can directly
> > change it into mass, but that requires an awful lot of it.
>
> You can still retain this mass (in the multiverse) without having to retain
> it all on the ship. All that happens is that over time spacefarers move mass
> around and cause a certain amount of pollution. Unless you were a druid or a
> priest of nature, you probably wouldn't be bothered.
>
> The elves are more likely to worry about keeping this sort of thing on
> board. Humans are a race that sees nothing wrong with cultivation of natural
> landscape, diversion of rivers for irrigation or dumping chemicals (and I am
> talking about the average fantasy human culture).
>
> The dwarves have a history of dumping dwarven citadels and taking over new
> asteroids. I can't see them being concerned about floaters.
>
> The tinker gnomes probably have all manner of fancy "ship's heads" designed
> to throw floaters out of the air envelope (obviously they sometimes go wrong
> and cover the deck!)
>
> Yuk! :-)
>
> Halflings tend to live among other races, so would pick up local floater
> based cultural values.
>
> Lizard men wouldn't be interested - unless they could incubate their eggs in
> it!
>
> I'm going to drop this now (unless I find out that Beyond the Moons is
> adding some sort of poojamming page to deal with this sticky subject)!
>
> <dream sequence>
> http://poojammer.spelljammer.org/
> Beyond the Moons presents the official *turd* edition conversion of...
>
> Stooljammer - AD&D Toilets in Space
> <end of dream sequence>
>
> ;-)
>
> David "Big Mac" Shepheard
> (with apologies to Static) "No poo in the 'verse can stop me"
>
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--
George "Loki" Williams, writing and other abberrations
PEACH- Please Examine and Critique Honestly

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