Re: New Races of SJ, esp Giff

<<You lie! It takes skill to make things go boom. (And, especially, living to
go boom again.)
In reply to the supposed lack of Giff Space-worthiness, I'm going to revise
my post from last Spring about Giff origins.
The Giff homeworld was originally an immense jungle. There were very few
intelligent races, none of which associated much with the Giff. (And, when
the Giff discovered the explosive capability of the Anipum berry, they began
to outright avoid them.)
The Giff themselves began as a very peaceful sort of pond-dweller; they
would lounge about in the many warm pools that dotted their world, gobbling
down whole bushes full of Anipum berries (a water-growing snack treat;
pleasantly tangy and a comfortable sort of yellow-orange in color) while
gazing at the stars. The Giff had no natural enemies, at least nothing that
posed much of a threat.
Lortimus Dengreely, a very enterprising Giff, was the first to learn of the
unusually explosive nature of Anipum berries. He was planning a lengthy bit
of exploring in the Giff's verdant jungles, and wanted to make sure he had a
steady supply of food. He tried to preserve a few Anipum berries to that
end. He tried juicing them (the juice was sour, mildly poisonous, and
spoiled quickly.), stewing them (Anipum stew is flavorless, but edible), and
drying them (a horrible mistake from Lortimus' standpoint).
When Lortimus finally decided his dried berries were ready for a taste, he
had an accident. A few berries were accidentally swept into the fire he
habitually used for light in his berry hut, which promptly exploded. (Both
berries and hut exploded, sending the roof high into the trees.) Because it
was quite dark at the time, the explosion was spectacular from the outside.
When the other Giff went to investigate, they found a
crispy-around-the-edges (dumbstruck, but not really hurt) Lortimus,
surrounded by the scorch mark that used to be his hut. Lortimus explained
exactly what had happened to the other Giff, who listened excitedly. Thus
began the Giff pastime of recreational explosion. (Oddly enough, this
sparked a drastic rise in Giff civilization.) Every season, as soon as a
suitable number of berries could be gathered and dried, a Fireball Festival
was performed. Painted huts made of straw were hastily built, then sent
rocketing into the trees. Whosoever built the hut that flew the highest was
named the Blast King, who presided over the rest of the festivites.
One of the only Giff who wasn't the tiniest bit interested in these
festivals was Lortimus himself. As soon as he could, he gathered a supply of
Anipum cakes (made of Anipum stew, dried into a bar-the only safe form),
some seeds to plant more bushes, and then set off for points unknown.
Ironically, the first Giff to know an explosion firsthand was the least
interested in them. He has since risen to legendary status among the Giff,
and it is believed he will return someday with the tools of the Big Bang.
The Big Bang is spoken of in hushed whispers by the Giff; it is the be-all
and end-all of explosions, which the Giff believe they themselves will
produce.
After generations of Giff were born and blew themselves to flinders, an idea
that shook the foundations of Giff society was concocted. A structure would
be built to hold hundreds of Giff, with gardens for Anipum bushes and other
such luxuries. The largest metal plate available would be attached to the
bottom, under which a massive charge of Anipum fuel would be placed and lit.
Supposedly, said the greatest thinkers of the time, the force of this
explosion would send the lucky Giff inside to such a height that they coud
view the stars up close, and bring back the secret of the sun-which they
thought must be the greatest explosion of all.
The "ship" was bult, and christened the Firecracker. The launch was
successful, insomuch as the ship escaped Giffspace entirely. It was
completely out of control, though, and traveled over thousands of miles of
the "Rainbow Marsh." Eventually, they were discovered by some human
mercenaries before they accumulated any sizeable amount of dried berries. So
long as the Giff promised not to light the phlo on fire, they were given
safe passage into normal space.
The Firecracker was readily abandoned, and the Giff set about exploring
space. Now they have become a race of mercenaries, mostly because that's the
easiest way to cause explosions. Unfortunately, the Anipum bushes don't grow
well on most planets. Perhaps they lack the sulfur so prevalent on the Giff
world, or perhaps the sun is just the wrong shade of yellow, but no known
Anipum orchards exist. If someone were to find a way to cultivate them,
however, he could easily equip an army with gunpowder weapons.
Also, knowing that the Giff love explosions (especially big ones) and
considering that they never saw the Firecracker in any sort of distress,
they may well have sent other "ships" out to explore or to bring the
Firecracker back.>>

Haa haa.  This was damn funny, but i also liked it as a reason the Giff love
things that go boom!